Well, I am from the northern part of Nigeria and my grandfather is allowed to marry as many wives as he would love to marry and I am not saying other tribes do not do that but please read on and tell me what you feel....
My mother is a very beautiful lady, dark, tall and wonderfully shaped. Oh her eyes glowed every time even when she wasn't eating, she was happy, she would make you happy and we all loved to be around her because she was very welcoming and an interesting person to tell stories with. But that's not it....
My beautiful mother was impregnated while she was growing up. The shame she faced when my grandparents found out, her friends left her because they said bad company corrupts good manners, she was a disgrace to the entire community and she was treated with disdain as someone with a deadly plague.
Then she was forced to show them the boy that impregnated their daughter without any plans of marrying her...
'Adams was a nonchalant person, very handsome and tall I must say' I soliloquised
'That's the guy papa' 'This dirty looking boy ehn Emilia'?
'When do you intend to marry my daughter'? Papa asked Adams
'I am not ready for marriage' He blurted out
'Emilia you see the kind of boy you fell for? This boy that doesn't even love you or care about your welfare, this boy that can't take up his responsibility?" You are a disgrace he told Emilia" By now people had gathered around them from the community so it was an open secret. Emilia cried back with shame cursing him bitterly.
After nine months, she delivered a baby girl, a very beautiful one as that and called her Mariam meaning bitterness... As I grew older I realized that when my mother would be muttering things at night like she was praying, she was actually crying. She would cry every night and this man that is my father won't still marry her? She got a job after twelve years and left the house thereby leaving me too as I was asked to live with my grandfather and his wives and children. She left me because she was ashamed to put me there in public and be ridiculed by fellow women or scared of not being married again since she was a second hand material now. But I know she loves me very much.
Anyway, she got married after three years of working and the man asked her not to bring me to their matrimonial home so I still have to live with my grandfather. He didn't have money to put me in a school so I was also towing that line and decided against it. My mother's siblings also have babies out of wedlock and I know the pain and shame they go through. There should be a law against men that impregnate women without marrying them in Nigeria. There should be child support or a jail sentence.
WHY DO THESE MEN DESTROY OUR LADIES AND SAY THEY WONT MARRY THEM?
Look at the pain they go through.
The hurt.
The sacrifice so that the child will live.
The shame.
The child also goes through such pain knowing her parents are not together.
This was sent in by an anonymous so I decided to let the world know. Please leave your comments. Thanks
